To B or not to B ?

To Blog, or not to Blog has been the question on my mind for a few weeks now. I guess if you are reading my post you know the answer to that question.

A more serious question that had me thinking lately is, To Be or Not to be Muslim? May Allah swt protect us all, AMEEN. Surely, not one I ask myself, but to many in my mind, who are Muslim by name and/or birth, but has denied themselves the beauty of a religion that liberates us from our desires of this world.

I should have been Walking on the Great Wall of China for Muslim Hands today, but a day before my departure to Beijing I received a phone call from the Chinese Consulate informing me that my visa has been cancelled due to technical reasons. On enquiry from the other trek participants I was informed that the entire groups visa's were cancelled due to security reasons, but that no further explanation was given. On the last hour the majority of the participants from UK and 2 from South Africa had their visas issued. Myself, 1 other participant and the Alim for the group were not granted new visas and thus could not leave.

Despite feeling disappointed, I believe that Allah knows Best, nothing happens without his knowledge and He wills everything. So I moved on.....but where to you may wonder?

To a place that has made me ponder and pray for those who struggle daily with prejudice, known as Islamaphobia and I pray that the Almighty Allah ease their pain and suffering, Inshaa Allah (God Willing)!Alhumdulilah, All praise is due to Allah. The opportunity that I was given to raise funds for this initiative, has opened my heart to the prejudice felt by Muslims all around the world, and sadly also opened my eyes to the prejudice by those whom you call "Friends" and "Family".  May the Almighty Allah keep us on the straight path, Inshaa Allah.

I ask that the Almighty God (Allah) be forever in my thoughts, my heart, my tongue and be my shield against my enemy - Ameen.

I say Shukr (thank-you) Allah for all those who supported me and to my kind, caring husband! He came back from china 2 days before my intended departure to china and was very happy at the thought of having me home, but also sad for my dissapointment. He has offered to take me away for the weekend wherever my heart desired, Alhumdulilah!

Oh Allah, please grant us good in this world and good in the life to come and keep us safe from the torments of Hell.
Any Good in this blogpost is from Allah (swt) and any bad is only from me.

Where have You Been?

Well, to be honest, I have been trying to find myself too! And where may you ask have I been?

Since my last post I have celebrated my Husband's birthday on 15th February, mourned his departure to China on yet another business trip on the 16th February, and eagerly awaited his arrival back home on 28th February. Shukr to Allah.

Then it was March, celebrated my birthday on the 15th, left for the Vic falls with the love of my life on the 16th and here I am on the 21st March, enjoying a mid-week break thanks to Human Rights day. Alhumdulilah!

Since I am contemplating walking 45 km on the Great Wall of China to raise funds for Muslim hands Orphan programme, my Husband insisted that we walk on the Sea Point promenade and every other opportunity I get, including walking the dogs, so that I can be physically fit to undertake this challenge.

April will see us move our business to new, bigger premises, Inshaa Allah and May 29 my departure to Beijing China for the Walk, Inshaa Allah.

I am truly Thankful and Blessed.

Thank You. Shukran. For reading my Post, I humbly request your prayers, love and support towards this venture! God Willing. Inshaa Allah.

My Mom, My Daughter and I

Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.  ~Pearl S. Buck

As the new school year started, a new grade three learner turned to her teacher to share her pain. Her mom was in hospital with cancer and she looked forward to visiting her mom after school so that she could rub her mother's feet to try and ease the discomfort and express her love. The day after she told her Teacher that her mom was going for a cat scan so that she could recover soon and come home, her mother sadly passed away.
Verily from Allah we come and to Him is our return.

This particular Teacher, was also a daughter, My Daughter. As her and I had been "scolding" we had not spoken to each other for a few days, and this little girl's loss made her realise that Time is precious, and made me realise that a daughter is a reflection of God's Love.

She will be your only true Friend, when yours let you down, and your most honorable critic when you are being deceived by the pretentious around you.

The day after this realisation, whilst at work I received a phone call from my Dear Mother! This might seem something ordinary to others, but extraordinary to me due to the fact that I left home at an early age, and embraced Islam. Sadly, this resulted in my Mom and I losing our bond somewhat.

When she called, I felt my role was reversed and I knew my mom also loved, needed and cared for her daughter, just as I did for mine.

I couldn't wait to visit her the later that afternoon, to tell her how much I loved her and that I knew she loved me too.
No matter how different our lives our, we our both Mothers and need to feel the warmth in our hearts that only a daughter's Love can bring.

Faith makes all things Possible. Love makes them easy! God Is Great.

My Precious Mibble Child

Born on the 15th July, My daughter, the Post Graduate and also my middle child who mixed up her b's and d's whilst in primary school,  a dilemma faced by dyslexics and like my Post Header, most of my birthday cards read "Happy dirthbay Mommy".

However, she tackled this challenge with tenacity and determination and is currently an Educator to Grade three learners who are besotted with her huge, kind and caring heart and often spoil her with gifts, both handmade and store bought.

For as long as I can remember, she has always wanted to be married and just recently, in October 2011 to be exact fulfilled her dream. She has approached her new life with the same tenacity and determination for which she is so lovingly known.

My prayer for her is that the Almighty Allah swt protect her from harm and misfortune and shower her with an abundance of his blessing both in this life and the hereafter, AMEEN.

I am anxiously waiting to be a part of a b-d challenge of a different kind, babies & diapers! In Shaa Allah.

My Son-shine

At the age of 22 I experienced the hardest yet one of the happiest days of my existence when My Son was born on The 30th July. I was in labour for what seemed like an entire weekend and he was finally born on the Sunday evening. Having a son was such a refreshing feeling since I already had two daughters and being one of three sisters and no brothers.

When I discovered I was pregnant again, three kids in six years, that's one every two years for those of you who struggle at Maths, I was not exactly over the moon with excitement. Just over a year after he was born, it was discovered that he was born with a hole in his heart! I was overcome with guilt, as I believed it to be punishment from Allah for my ungrateful behavior towards the pregnancy. All I wanted was for my baby boy to live and begged with my maker for forgiveness.

Alhumdulilah, it was his Twenty-first birthday last year and I thank almighty Allah for him almost everyday! God is Great! Allaa hu Akbar! Despite his health condition, He has not been Ill and achieved Western Province Colours in Tennis. He is currently completing his Marketing degree and is a well balanced individual, All Praise is due to Allah!
I have to admit though, I think he spends too much time with FIFA on his play station. The picture above explains it all!
When he was still in school, I remember coming home earlier than usual one day from work with packets of groceries for the evening's supper and being agitated at him for not coming to assist me with my load! I called out to him angrily and he emerged somewhat upset and said "Mom,I was making salaah." Subhanallah!  I felt so proud, and ashamed at the same time for judging him incorrectly!

Many a Thursday night I would wonder why his room door is still closed after Maghrieb salaah, only to realize that it's Thursday and he is reading Surah Yaseen, Subhanallah! All Praise is due to Allah!

May the Almighty Allah always guide and protect him and continue to shower him with Takwah and Emaan, In Shaa Allah , AMEEN.

For All my Children, Laiqah, Farahnaaz and Sayed Anwar, who are without a doubt my SUNSHINE !!
I say , Shukr to Allah! Shukr to Allah! Shukr to Allah!

To Good To Not Share...

I Hate that I Love You
By  Andrea Umm Abdullah | Saudi Life

TO The Love of My Life,

I don’t know how to say this, but I hate that I love you.
I hate that I get so focused on you, so “tunnel-visioned”, that even though I see important things passing by in my peripheral, I can’t get myself to look up.
I hate how you use things to get my attention, things that are really out of my reach, and all I ever get is this insatiable longing for more.
I hate how you make me forget my real purpose in life.
I hate how my mind is always spinning with thoughts of you, even when I pray.
I hate how I want everything to work out so well between us, that I would do almost anything.
And I don’t like how my mood is based on our relationship:   If we’re good, I’m happy, but if you’re not giving me your all, I’m depressed.
I hate how when all else fails, I turn to you for comfort, instead of Allah.
And when things are going great, I credit you, instead of Allah.
I hate that I trust you to raise my kids for me.
And I hate that I’m afraid to leave you.
I hate how I look to you for guidance on what’s right and wrong, instead of the Quran and Sunnah.
I hate how I get my standards from you…I allow you to tell me what to think, what to wear, and what to say. And I even let you dictate how much I can accomplish before I pray.
And I look to you for advice on what’s beautiful, what’s pious, and what’s worthy.
But I’m tired now.
I’m tired of crying over your unrealistic love scenes, meaningless goals I’ll never achieve, and unfulfilled promises.
My tears will only serve me if they are wept over my sins…oversleeping for Fajr and memorizing songs instead of Quran.
But I don’t blame you. You’re good at what you do. After all, this is what you were created for.
I just wanted to tell you that you can’t trick me anymore.
Allah has warned me about you.
He told me that you, O Dunya, are nothing but an amusement and diversion.  He told me that He has filled you with beautiful things.  And He told me that nothing ever lasts with you.
Too often I find myself rushing so I won’t be late—for an appointment with you.
But I’m telling you that from now on, bi’idhnillaah, I’m rushing to get ready for my appointment with Allah.
I love the opportunities to do good things while I’m with you, but I have to move on. I have to be done with you.  I have to keep you in my hands while keeping the Hereafter in my heart. I can’t let you make me miss any more chances…chances to pray an extra prayer, to read more Quran, to give to someone in need…to take advantage of any good deed.
I’ve missed too many chances already by being attached to you.
I’ve realized we weren’t meant to be together for long so I’ll deal with you while we’re still together.  But Allah has something bigger and better in store for me.
Every day I’m getting closer, and I can’t take you with me.  So I’m packing, O Dunya!
I’m just taking what I need from you and leaving the rest.
No hard feelings.
But it’s time to move on to a love more lasting than yours.
Signed,
The Traveling Stranger

Three Times Lucky

Becoming a mom for the first time at any age is an overwhelming experience. My Daughter was born on 25 May and named, Nazli after her dad's sibling who died shortly after birth. Verily, from Allah we come and to Allah is our return.

At the age of Seventeen I changed her name to Laiqah and she was often referred to as Lucky as it sounded much like Laiqah to some. Ironically, it was also at the age of Seventeen that I embraced Islam. God is Great - Allahu Akbar!

Laiqah studied law for 3 years, but decided that it was not for her and went on to successfully study graphic design and in May 2010 she married the Love of her Life, Sardieq.
I thank the Almighty Allah s.w.t  for my angel, referred to as "Lucky" for both her and I.

I pray that she be always blessed with Health, Wealth, Takwah and Emaan and protected from Calamity and misfortune, Inshaa Allah. (God Willing)

PS! I am patiently waiting for my grandchild as that will truly mean..... Third Time Luckier!
Allah Knows Best! Alhumdulilah!

“If you survive till the evening, do not expect to be alive in the morning, and if you survive till the morning, do not expect to be alive in the evening, and take from your health for your sickness, and (take) from your life for your death.”*

—Ibn Umar